Review Information
Game Reviewed N/A, by N/A
Review Author rchammer97
Created Dec 4 2017, 6:22 PM

General Commentary and Game Overview
While I cannot defend my behaviour in the comments section of this game, I thought I could at least do my due dilligence and write this game a proper review. Constructive, honest, fair. No comparisons to other games, just taking it at face value.

Let's give it a whirl.
 
Pros +Short and sweet.
+Super Paper Mario was a great game.
+I've played worse.
 
Cons -Messy, clashing graphics.
-Basic level design to the point of being boring.
-Stiff, sometimes fatal controls.
-Unwinnable final battle.
 
Impressions
Gameplay
2 / 10
As basic as a game can get, which can be expected for a first game. Especially one made with Games Factory.

SPMW features two different gameplay styles: sidescrolling platformer, and top-down. You control the given character with the arrow keys, jump with Shift, and shoot with Control. Once you have Thoreau on your team, you can throw him with F to activate certain switches. Given how many times you actually do this in the game, he may as well not even be there. You could have just hit the switches yourself or with fireballs.

While we're on that subject, Goombario, Kooper, Bombette, and Kirby also join you. Goombario is used in exactly one stage, and the rest do absolutely nothing the entire rest of the game (except get kidnapped, in Kirby's case). Why they were even there is beyond me.

Level design is extremely simplistic: get to the goal and avoid/shoot any obstacles (if present) in the way. Mechanics are a little stiff; there's no friction, Mario moves at two speeds (start and stop), and fireballs fly in whatever direction you happen to be moving, making aiming diagonally virtually impossible.

Sometimes there's platforming. Mostly it's just walking to the right, and occasionally jumping. Every now and again the game gives you something different, like shooting every enemy on the screen to progress, or solving a basic puzzle.

It's a cakewalk mostly, right up until the final level: a boss battle against Dimentio. Shoot him enough times, and you win. Simple, right?

Well, once the fight starts, you have five seconds before Dimentio starts spurting out barrages of fireballs faster than an uzi, and your 100 health points drop just as quickly. Oh, and Mario's fireballs deal piddling amounts of damage to him, and you have all of five platforms to stand on, so that helps.

I gave it a good five or seven goes at this boss before I called it quits. There is no feasible way to beat this game, and after sitting through the dull, uninteresting slog that was the rest of the game, Dimentio was the icing on the cake.

(As an aside, beware the third-to-last level. The bottom of the screen actually is a floor, even though you can't see it. So if you fall into the pit halfway through, there's no way back up, because jump height is halved in that level for some reason. You'll either need to wait for the Paratroopas to kill you, remember the last password, or restart the game from the beginning)

((Also, if you let the game sit unpaused for too long without pressing a button, the game just restarts.))
 
Graphics
1 / 10
Oh, lordy lordy, where do I start?

The sprites are taken from several different games, from Paper Mario to Super Mario All-Stars. If it wasn't enough that these styles don't mesh well, every single image in the entire game is compressed horribly and covered in noise (off-coloured pixels).

Animations are barebones: Mario, for example, has two frames for moving, one for jumping, and that's it.

There are plentiful image files available on this very website, that you can easily edit in anything from Photoshop to paint.NET to look nice and neat. Avoid .gif files at all costs; .pngs are much higher quality.
 
Sound
6 / 10
The music consists mostly of MIDIs that fade out before looping. They don't sound too bad, even if the file type is severely outdated. If MIDIs bother you (and those people do exist), you can turn off sound effects and music in the Options menu.

I found them pleasant enough, even if some of the music choices were... questionable. (Zelda and UnderTale? What?)

One thing I noticed is that if I happened to press a button during a cutscene, or if I took too long in a level, sometimes the music would just cut out until the next level.
 
Replay
3 / 10
It's short enough to play through a few times, if you really wanted to. Only five chapters, about ten minutes length.

...The question is, why would you want to?
 
Final Words
3 / 10
Whether this was made as a joke or as an honest effort, what matters in the end is that this is not a very fun game.

Comments
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JacobLeBeauREAL
Dec 7 2017, 1:11 AM
Good review
 
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rchammer97
Dec 7 2017, 5:48 AM
Lol, thanks
 
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Galaxyvoyager128
Dec 8 2017, 4:16 AM
The game doesn't work for me so all I really have to go by is this review. I tried to download it and got an error. So it's bad eh?
 
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rchammer97
Dec 8 2017, 9:28 PM
Quote (Galaxyvoyager128 on Dec 8 2017, 4:16 AM)
The game doesn't work for me so all I really have to go by is this review. I tried to download it and got an error. So it's bad eh?

Maybe your computer can't run Games Factory games, I dunno. Don't feel too bad; it's really not worth the play.
 
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Tuppcord
Dec 9 2017, 2:30 PM
this review actually is helping me with my next game! even though it is a 3/10.

for instance. i learned how to convert the sprites better. the graphics wont look crappy anymore (thanks to Paint.NET)
 
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Tuppcord
Jul 12 2019, 12:03 PM
Agree with every point in this review please forget about this game
 
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Tuppcord
Jul 12 2019, 12:03 PM
Quote (epicgamerdudething on Dec 9 2017, 2:30 PM)
this review actually is helping me with my next game! even though it is a 3/10.

for instance. i learned how to convert the sprites better. the graphics wont look crappy anymore (thanks to Paint.NET)

 
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Tuppcord
Oct 6 2020, 3:21 PM
Yooo i forgot I made this lmao
 
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