Review Information
Game Reviewed Super Crown Land, by Hello
Review Author ReynLynxPSI
Created May 17 2020, 3:12 AM

General Commentary and Game Overview
Unlike many here who have experienced Hello's other 3D games, this is the first of his Unity-based fangames that I have played.

The game features you playing as Bowsette... Or Mario, or Sonic, or Naruto, or Kanna, in a platformer where you help Super Crown-ified versions of Mario enemies overthrow "rebel" (anti-super crown groups) forces. The entire premise of the game is rather bizarre, especially since Bowsette is a few years old at this point and has mostly died out.

I attempted to 100% this game, but in the end gave up before reaching the final level. I'll go into more detail below, but everything about this game - the controls, the camera, the gimmicks - feel like they're actively working against you, and you're fighting over simple things like controlling the character most of the time.

And then there's the bugs.

The bugs, oh my goodness, the BUGS. This game feels fundamentally broken, and things as simple as long-jumping don't work enough that you'll end up dying at least a few times from it. I also managed to softlock myself once by ground-pounding a P-Switch. I also had to play the game through Steam, since my Switch controller did not work at all unless I did so.

While the unlockable costumes are nice, the choices feel rather nonsensical, and most of the human-sized ones make stages completely impossible to beat. The only human-sized character model that doesn't break the game is Kanna, because she's rather short compared to the likes of Naruto and Nep-Nep.
Pros + A few levels are tolerable
+ Collectibles
+ Controller Support?
+ Unlockable costumes.. that break?
Cons - Horrendous physics
- Stolen art
- Irritating music
- Tedious "puzzles"
- Godawful Level Design
- Cringeworthy Dialouge
- Enemies that don't work right
- Why do Cheep Cheeps jump after you on land?
- Gimmicks that are broken
1 / 10
Where do I even begin.

First of all, the physics are horrible. The character slips and slides around as if they were on ice and falls like a block of concrete. It feels unbelievably hard to control your own player character at times and made numerous deaths feel cheap.
On top of the bad physics is the camera. Oh, the camera, which gets stuck on the walls, gets stuck inside the scenery, and makes small corridors near-impossible to see in. The camera, just like the player, does not feel easy to control and also contributed towards several deaths that could have been prevented if this game didn't have a camera that is somehow worse than the original SM64.

And if the physics and the camera weren't bad enough, you have the actual levels themselves. Many stages felt slapped together without a rhyme or reason, and the biggest offender of this would be the Red Coin stages, with one in every stage. Unfortunately, these coin levels feature the absolute worst of the game's "gimmicks," all put into one, unbearably long stage, each of which took me at least 12 minutes to beat before I finally gave up on the 5th one.
The game's puzzles, if you can even call them that, amount to "push a block onto this switch and hit another switch." That's literally it. The puzzles are brain-dead easy and the only reason you'll have difficulty with them is because you'll have to redo them several times due to deaths that wouldn't happen if the physics and camera weren't garbage. Everything else gets underused, from the actually-cool Propeller Block to the absolute abomination that is the Light Block. I'm actually kinda glad the Light Block only appeared in two levels, though I wish the Propeller Block would have shown up more.
Other stages were... Bizarre. One world features a Boo that turned a haunted mansion into a school, of all things, and begins talking about "Wii-U-Boos," which made me gag at the sight of such a terrible pun. That entire stage was a complete mess that I'm glad I'll never have to play again. I had to restart the stage at least once because the boxes are replaced with Wii-U's, which have different collision from the boxes and get stuck on everything.

There were, in total, only two stages out of the 19 I played that I actually liked. Those would be the very first stage, and the second stage of the Beach world.

Everything about this game just feels like you're actively fighting it and it makes the game a painful endurance test rather than a game.
2 / 10
Don't steal art. Please. Nobody likes art thieves, and it doesn't matter how much credit you give; if you did not get permission to use artwork, then quite simply, don't use it.

The models themselves are fine for the most part, except for the Super Crown-ified enemies, which just use recolored Peachette models to represent them, and then have stolen artwork to represent them in their dialouge boxes. Unfortunately, all of this artwork clashes as none of it was done by the same artist.

Overall, the graphics aren't that bad, but a lot of stuff clashes with eachother and makes the game look rather jarring, including the additional player models you can use.
1 / 10
The music made me nearly turn off the game at several points because I found it so annoying. Every stage uses either really bad trap or dubstep Mario remix music, a terrible "ITSA ME BOWSETTE" song that makes me cringe every time I hear it, or... SiIvagunner rips? The music grated on my ears and I'm glad I'll never have to hear any of it ever again.

The sound effects aren't much better; outside of Mario, Luigi, and Sonic, the voices either don't fit the character or are obnoxious.
Final Words
1 / 10
I'm speechless. I had no idea it was possible to make a game this bad.

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